Mornings are hard. I think it's because I wake up and think that all of this was just a nightmare. Im still pregnant and everything is ok. But then i see the baby blanket laying next to me and I realize that this is all real. It's been almost 4 weeks since Ben was born/died and it still feels like it happened last night. When my husband is home I'm better. But it's when he's at work that is when I feel so empty and lost. I still can't get over the fact that Im not pregnant anymore. Sometimes I catch myself rubbing my stomach like i did when i was pregnant.
Chris and I are going to Las Vegas on Wednesday. We really need to get away so I think this trip will be good for us. I am nervous though. It is supposed to rain with alittle snow mixed in. I hate flying so it makes it worse. I am scared b/c i feel like if this could happen to us what else can go wrong. But i will go b/c i know we need this.